My Unconventional Menopause: A Journey of Survival and Self-Advocacy
After surviving a life-threatening illness, I thought my biggest battle was behind me. But then a "shotgun menopause" blindsided me with its own set of challenges.
I hit menopause abruptly - like a gunshot. It wasn’t normal but I knew it was coming and just a matter of time. My journey started in 2023 when I found out I had blood cancer. The oncologist told me it’s curable, but the tough aggressive treatment would make me infertile. I was fine with that, because we already had two children in pre-teen years. But then, he said your ovaries will get zapped and you may stop getting your periods.
I didn’t think much about not having my period again. My mind focused on survival and whatever it would take to kick cancer’s ass! 💪 I also thought that it might be nice to not have to worry about periods after all this, lol. Well, nine months later in remission it hit me like a ton of bricks. While I had no hair and still fatigued from the treatments, the weakening joint pains started. I felt like my bones in my hips and knees shrunk and it took immense effort to just get up from a seat. 👵 I thought to myself, why do I feel like I’m an 80-year old and seriously considering buying a cane. Maybe it’s cancer side effects.
Then the hot flashes started. I thought the AC was broken! I kept asking my husband “why are you turning up the AC in the morning? It’s so hot in here!”. (We do live in South Florida, and it was 90 degrees then.) But then the AC would reach 69 degrees and I thought oh something’s not right. Hot flashes are weird. They are literally how it sounds - a wave flowing through your body starting from one point and ending with sweat wherever it subsides (for me, it was my face and neck). Then the sweating lingers for a bit, and if you’re lucky the wave doesn’t start again a few minutes later. Strange, right? You’re feel like you’re having a constant fever flush through your body.
This is when I started researching menopause. I bought some books and read publications. Menopause can be diagnosed with proper bloodwork. The estrogen and progesterone hormones diminish while the FSH (follicular stimulating hormone) increases. My first bloodwork showed I was in post-menopause. The typical age at these levels is 70 years old! Wow, I knew it.
When all this happened, I was 40 years old. I know it’s not too young but when it hits you like a ton of bricks, it’s deflating. The brain fog was serious. I couldn’t concentrate or remember things at work. My sleep patterns fluctuated between 5-7 hours a night. (I need 9 hours of sleep to feel good for the day.) I gained over 20 pounds of weight overnight. And my skin would crack in patches all over my back, arms and face. All these symptoms which I thought was post-chemotherapy side effects, were really menopause hitting full blast through my body.
It’s amazing how the body and mind depend so much on hormones. It affects your brain which then affects every other part of your body, including emotions. So, I went on and off hormone replacement therapy for about a year which included other side effects.
Recently, I found a gynecologist that’s designed a custom plan for my body. By the way, this is the fourth gynecologist I’ve seen in one year. You have to find the right doctor for you. It took me a while to get here. My current plan is not to take HRT. Yes, I know that’s not conventional right now. But that’s the plan for me personally, at this moment. You see, I have double the risks (or more). I’ve already had cancer and my mother had breast cancer. My body needs to settle from cancer treatments and there’s no need to increase my risk of recurrence or another cancer at this moment, by adding supplements or unnatural mechanisms to my body. So, I’m taking medication for my mood and hot flashes while managing the rest of symptoms naturally - that means heading to the gym, planning my day better to reduce stress, and mental therapy.
It’s a bit unconventional these days when all you hear about is HRT and supplements to treat menopause. But, the plan has to work for you. It’s not a one size fits all. So make sure you listen to your body first, then speak up for yourself when you meet with doctors. They need to hear what you feel and understand your medical history. Also, do your research. I read about all the options so I could be prepared and informed when doctors gave me their opinions. Remember, these are their opinions based on their experiences and their knowledge. So make sure you understand and make a plan. It’s your choice and your body. It’s also your life and how you want to live it.
Hugs to all you ladies! 💜 I’ll keep you posted on my menopause journey.